There have been many questions posed throughout history about what different things mean to different people. What does it mean to an atheist to be alive ? What does it mean to a biologist if we aren't alone in the universe? What does it mean to a middle schooler when the lunch bell sounds? What does it mean to a blogger when the Bible says "Adam and Eve"? What does it mean to a college student when x is multiplied by q and added to b? You get the gist, there are a lot of questions out there.
Two of the most important questions to this generation are also two of the questions that everyone seems to have some sort of answer for, but no one actually agrees with each other. I may seem to be simplifying the world when I say that these two questions, above all others, are the pinnacle question marks of an entire generation, but I firmly believe that from these questions, discussion concerning many other issues can be started. These are questions that have divided friends and caused strife throughout schools and families. They are in no way questions with easy answers and are not questions I ask myself or anyone lightly, even if you could answer these in a simple sentence. To a conservative, media and sports enthusiast, both of these questions are perplexing. They do not offer a simple answer but they do come with answers, even if those answers complicate and yet simplify life at the same time.
So, having said that, I present you the two questions.
What does it mean to be a man?
I could string together a long list of adjectives to describe what it means to be a man in 2013/14, but what good would that do when you can go to the thesaurus for that? As society has eroded the title of "man" and worked to wash out any mention of the mere word throughout the last few decades, there are less and less men out there willing and able to defend the honor that comes with being a man. To be a man is not something to be shameful of nor is it something to be a raving meathead about.
It means responsibility. Not the responsibility of doing your own dishes or making sure your shirt is pressed on Sunday morning. The responsibility of a man is to women. It is the duty of each man to look to protect women just as chivalrously and valiantly as the knights of Camelot. It is not our duty because women cannot, should not or do not care for themselves. It is our responsibility because women are precious to us. Not in the creepy "My preciousssss" way of Gollum but in the way that paint is precious to a canvas. Without the paint, the canvas is blank and creates nothing. When paint is applied, a new image is visible that neither paint nor canvas could have created alone. So too are women precious to men. Without women, life would be more likely than not boring as all hell and not life at all. When women and men come together, it not only creates something unique for them but also has the possibility of bringing a new "image" into this world. Therefor, protect, serve and lead the women in your life.
It means strength. According to the Village People, every man wants to be a macho macho man. Here, strength doesn't, necessarily, mean physical strength. It means the strength to succeed in life and overcome difficulties. It means the strength to know when you are wrong and admit it. To have the strength of a man is to be willing and able to defend those that cannot defend themselves. You have to have the strength that comes from failure. You have to know what it means to taste fear. It is necessary to be courageous when everyone else falters. To stand when others cower. To speak your mind knowing full well you'll piss off someone out there. You have to be willing to lose friends because you stood by your convictions. As Churchill said, "You have enemies? Good. That means you stood up for something, sometime in your life." Life's a bitch, being a man means taking a punch from it and then responding with one or two of your own.
It means being honest. Honesty is not always easy. It's not always popular. It's not always the most logical course of action. But, and I say this as someone who has dealt with liars and being a liar, honesty is the best policy. All lies will either corrupt you or they will come back to bite you in the ass when they are found out, neither of which are good options when honesty is on the table. Honesty is also a simple, yet compulsory part of responsibility and takes more strength than fighting a bear.
I could go on and attempt to describe each and every category of manhood and I could probably write a book on it but I think it's time to share the most important and least discussed part of being a man. It means being imperfect. This is not an excuse for you to go screw up your life and it's not an invitation for you to blame your manhood for your troubles. This is simply a statement of fact that all men know, no matter how much we try to deny it to our family, friends, significant others or even ourselves. We make mistakes and we lose track of what it means to be a man. It's part of life. We may be imperfect beings but, just as Coach Boone called his players, we are called to be perfect in every aspect of our life. We are called to be perfect brothers, sons, husbands, fathers, uncles, teachers, grandfathers, friends and men.
It's an impossible code to follow completely but that's our challenge every moment of every day. As men, we love being faced with the impossible and laughing at it as we conquer it. So there it is, manliness, the biggest impossibility of them all, conquer it.
What does it mean to be against abortion?
If you look at a media portrayal, it means you hate women. If you look at a political viewpoint, it means you are conservative and controversial (but starting to 'win'). If you look at a radical feminist, you'll probably be scorned and told to shut up (and, if you're a guy like me, might even get a gif of Jennifer Aniston saying "No uterus, no opinion" thrown in your face). If you march in a parade, you'll probably be cold but surrounded by thousands of others who support you.
It's a controversial topic today and yet one of the easiest questions to answer. There are basically three "common" answers to this. First, "I'm against abortion completely, for myself and for all others." Second, "I'm completely supportive of abortion and the woman's 'right' to choose." Third- and most confusing- "I'm personally against abortion and would never have one, but that doesn't mean everyone else should have to abide by my ideas." (I'm letting this one die right here because it's an entirely different discussion) If asked this question, I'd take a bet that your answer would conform to one of the previous three.
Anyway, what does it really mean to be against abortion?
Well, to be against abortion is to be for an unborn baby. The rationale is fairly simple: abortion is a medical procedure used to end the life of a human in utero, therefore it's, at the very least, manslaughter. I look at laws and cases that have gone through the justice system and see that men and women will be charged with two counts of manslaughter for killing a pregnant woman in a car crash. I look at the fact that mere moments after being removed from the birth canal, the baby cannot be legally killed. I support the belief that all life is sacred and it is not ours to take nor is it ours to give. I am an emotional being who plays on your human instincts and wants you to be swayed to save a life in any way possible.
This is where a lot of people get lost in the beliefs of the "pro-life" movement, to be against abortion is to be for the mother. It doesn't matter if you are keeping the baby or if you plan on putting the baby up for adoption, I support you as a mother. I want you to be careful, responsible and cared for. As much of a woman as you are, you are, at the moment that life enters you, also a mother and you have to act, live and make decisions differently. I support the fact that you deserve time to become acquainted with this new life inside you. I fully support you being able to bond with your child after the birth or, in the case of adoption, have a smooth transition from pregnancy to being the mother of a baby that you aren't raising.
To be against abortion is to be in support of fatherhood. It's to be willing to stand up to the unfair laws that are in effect that make fatherhood a scary thought on top of normal new parent anxieties. It is to be supportive of new fathers as much as you support the mothers. It's to be willing to "man up" and take on the fatherhood that is thrust upon you in the case of an unplanned pregnancy. It's also, in the case of an absent father, the chance and call to step up and become a father figure for the child.
To be against abortion is to be for the family that is formed therein. As a society, we have developed a culture that disdains young families and single fathers or mothers. This has to stop if we are to remove the "choice" from our society. Yes, young people make mistakes and yes, some of those mistakes involve sex and unplanned pregnancies. This does not mean we, as a society, have to pile on the hardships and consequences of such actions. I will never support teenagers (or anyone for that matter) running around having sex with whomever they want in the name of "freedom" or "sexual liberation." However, when the sex leads to a new life it is crucial that we do not point fingers and start blaming the young parents and saying they "ruined" their life by making one mistake. Your life is ruined if you murder someone at 15. Your life is ruined if you plot an act of terrorism. Your life is ruined if you refuse an offer from the Godfather. Your life is not ruined when you make a new life. We are called to bring the family together, support them and encourage them to take up responsibility without making the already difficult situation seemingly hopeless.
If you want to say that you are against abortion, you also have to be willing to take on certain responsibilities that you would not normally encounter.
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